Things We Don’t Really Do Anymore When Courting You (Except in Song)

Drive by your house

Walk down your street

Write you a letter

Call out to you

Run to you

Send a song out to you

Put a dime, quarter or dollar in the jukebox (and then lean up against it)

Go to, or climb through, your window

More elaborate things we never really did when courting you, but still sometimes do in song:

Climb your mountain

Swim your sea

Put a spell on you, or fall under YOUR spell

Take you by the hand, and make you understand, Amanda.

Things we ultimately still want to do, but only certain people can actually do, and that’s why there is song:

Liberate you

Confiscate you

Be your man

2 Responses to “Things We Don’t Really Do Anymore When Courting You (Except in Song)”

  1. Nick Pellegrino Says:

    I always though that line was
    I want to lubricate you
    constipate you
    throw you in my van
    Can you help me with this sofa? What are you about a size 14?

  2. Bill Nahikian Says:

    Well Joe, 7 out of 8 of the first list would be grounds for a restraining order under certain circumstances…

    The first two of the second list would be criminal trespass if posted, 3rd might be protected under the first amendment, but the fourth definitely could be an assault and battery

    Now the last list seems to pass constitutional muster, except for the confiscating…unless there is a claim of right, a search warrant or contra band in plain view

    Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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